


Seasons

by blackeveryseason



Category: Monochrome Factor
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Light Angst, M/M, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24658060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackeveryseason/pseuds/blackeveryseason
Summary: Collection of seasonal feels <3
Relationships: Nikaidou Akira/Shirogane
Kudos: 11





	1. Simple As Snow

**Author's Note:**

> Reuploading from my FF account (@ snowblinded) // Written in 2012, unedited from then.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The message is as simple as snow: 'I'm not leaving until I absolutely must.'

Shirogane shivered under the gray sky. Snow flurried above him, landing on his trench coat and piling. Since he lacked body heat, the snow couldn't melt. He kept swiping at his shoulders, growing annoyed with the water crystals. He took off his hat and tossed off the stack of snow from the top, placing back on his head.

"Akiraaaa, why are we out here?" He asked, emphasizing the whine in his throat.

The brunet teenager turned his head and shrugged. "Weren't you the one who wanted to go on a walk?"

The silver-haired man thought about it for a moment. He had said it, but it was only because he was growing bored sitting inside Akira's room. He could easily go and do it, but he wanted Akira to be with him during it. He got his wish, just at the cost of becoming a snowman by the end of it.

Shirogane watched Akira continue to walk, hands stuffed into his coat pocket. The boy's brown hair curled out from under his adorable brown winter cap with a cat face in the front, a present from Mayu earlier in the season. The ends of his black scarf whipped around in the breeze, sometimes whacking Akira in the face. Shirogane stifled a giggle as he saw Akira tuck the scarf back into the collar of his coat.

The shadow looked behind him. The pathway through the woods in the park was buried in snow, frosting over the benches, the metal fences. Footprints from Akira's snow boots trailed all the way from the beginning, while Shirogane's were very light. He lifted himself from the ground a bit in case someone showed up, they wouldn't question the footsteps beside Akira.

Despite the snow assault, he was enjoying his time with Akira. He was acting rather civil than cold towards the shadow. He wasn't sure to be suspicious, but it was a great departure from their original banter. Shirogane turned his head and saw Akira was a little further up than he was. He floated over to the boy and set himself on the ground back to normal, walking pace.

Akira looked at the man and gave him a half-smile, maybe a sign of actually enjoying himself too. Shirogane hoped it meant that.

The two walked through the snowy path with a comfortable silence next to one another. The only thing that could be heard was the rustle in the trees and the crunch of snow below their feet.

The teen shivered briefly, curling his hands further into his pockets. He gritted his teeth and filled the air with the steam of his hot breath. Shirogane frowned, remembering Akira didn't have any gloves that fit. The shadow had offered his own gloves, but Akira told him his gloves are too thin.

Shirogane didn't want Akira to freeze though. He knew his action could possibly get him harmed, but he decided to risk it. He stepped a bit closer to the brunet and moved his hand towards him. His fingers grazed over the edge of his coat pocket and slipped his hand into Akira's pocket. He cupped his hand around the teen's, hoping he wouldn't get punched in the face.

He was pleasantly surprised when the hand returned the hold. Shirogane quickly looked at Akira in confirmation of his own action, but the boy stared at the ground. The shadow had a feeling the pink glow in his face wasn't from windburn. Knowing Akira was actually receptive of his move made Shirogane's pride shoot up. It was moments like this that made the shadow wish he never had to go back to the shadow world. If he could just stay with his shadow-shin for the rest of his life.

A sad smile spread through the silver-haired man's face. It was too bittersweet. As if Akira read his mind, he got a comforting hand squeeze from the boy. He looked down to see the teenager still of barren of any lovey feeling, but a hint of concern was there. He half-smiled again, squeezing a second time.

You're too adorable, Akira-kun.

Shirogane returned it and smiled. "I'm not leaving yet, Akira."

Akira's sort of smile dampened and returned to his usual bored frown. He looked forward, still blushing, as he mumbled, "I know."

The shadow giggled at his shadow-shin's behavior. He couldn't hide his feelings if he was held at gun point. He held the boy's hand, tightening his grip. Akira was too precious. The rest of their walk was in silence, but what was said was all that needed to be said.

I'm not leaving until I absolutely must.


	2. Soft As Petals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira wouldn't never admit it to anyone, but he had a soft spot for the spring. It's a transformative season and with transformation comes a lot of change.

Akira wouldn't never admit it to anyone, but he had a soft spot for the spring. Although summer was great due to no school, good weather, and all around freedom, spring was a bit more heartfelt. All the little flower pods that closed up for the cold season start to pop open and let sunshine skim across their bodies. The sporadic weather of warm, humidity to sudden cold rain was okay with Akira just because that was just how spring was. It's a transformative season and with transformation comes a lot of change.

Change had been occurring to Akira since the beginning of the school year when Shirogane entered his life. Saving him (and Aya and Kengo) from the kokuchi and giving him the kiss that poured dark energy into his flesh, it was the biggest transformation physically. However, it's been the internal changes that have been blossoming inside Akira that has him feeling differently lately.

He was an aloof boy, not minding the lonesomeness his life had for him, but Kengo and Aya managed to pry into his life. At first he hated it. He didn't ask for their help, he didn't ask for their concern, he just wanted peace. Yet they somehow slipped into an important place in Akira's life: his first real friends.

Friendship was an unusual concept at first. Accustomed to isolation, he found it odd how easily he let his feelings formulate for these once strangers. He never felt so protective of people, even with his own family. Sure enough, Akira found a sense of familiarity with Kengo's lame jokes and clumsiness and the pain of Aya's kendo stick when he didn't listen. Despite the sudden change of his environment, he knew he found a place among the craziness of his human companions, including Haruka, Kou, and Master.

The one thing that has really taken a metamorphosis of its own is his new found inclination for the annoying silver-haired shadow, Shirogane. The man that formerly burrowed under the skin of the teenager's been residing in a peculiar spot in Akira's heart. He used to brush off advances and ignore the hushed murmurs almost immediately. Now it took a little extra force to pretend he was irked by the shadow's behavior. Akira didn't know if Shirogane could see through his facade, but it was getting harder to keep it up.

Somehow through the winter, Akira found himself drawn to Shirogane, more so than before. The man would curl up next to Akira in his bed and divulge the vague things he wanted to do to the teenager. He would hit and push the shadow from his mattress, yet fight down the extra 'ba-dump' in his chest at mention of these things. As he listened to the man whine about the abuse, the brunet would flip his back to him and bury his face into the pillow. He felt embarrassment that equaled the fervor of his attraction. Akira couldn't even stand it when the man tried to hold his hand anymore. After their winter walk, he rejected his touches, afraid of becoming intoxicated by what was Shirogane. He couldn't let himself grow addicted only to be left in the end.

Yet no matter how hard Akira tried, those feelings whirled around him like a spring breeze. They shook the tree limbs of the boy's emotions, letting flower petals rain down. When they touched his skin, it always felt like Shirogane, butterfly kissing on his neck. It was wrong though. Akira felt like he was betraying himself for allowing such covetous feeling reside. What happened to the the boy who kept to himself and fought because he was bored? When had he turned into a docile creature, loosing himself in another man's blue eyes? Furthermore, what was to come when the shadow disappeared? Would he revert to his normal self or languish in melancholy? He couldn't fall victim to Shirogane, no matter how hard his heart fought with his mind.

Lying under a newly awaken cherry blossom tree, he could think these thoughts. Akira's eyes can travel from blossom to blossom, trying to find the answers to his inner turmoil in the stamen of the flowers. He wished they could wiggle in response. He wished they could provide some enlightenment. Instead, they swayed in the breeze, absolutely devout. The pink coloring represents romance. Right now, it meant embarrassment. Akira placed his hands over his face, ashamed of his girlish thoughts.

"Are you allergic to pollen?" A well-known voice asked.

Afraid to show his shameful face, Akira replied through the spaces of his fingers. "No, I'm not."

The feeling of silk traced over his knuckles. A small chuckle was heard, along with, "Then why are you covering your face?"

"Because of you," Akira replied without thinking. When he realized it slipped from his mouth, his eyes widened. He had revealed too much. Shirogane would not let this go.

Said silk fingers took hold of his hands, lifting them from Akira's face. He fought back for a moment, but the shadow always found his way. The teenager shut his eyes. He didn't want to see whatever face the man was making. It was probably smug, like whenever Akira accidently did something that could be interpreted as suggestive.

The gloved hand released his hands, placing them on his lap. The brunet was surprised when he felt the man's un-gloved hand slid up his cheek, thumb brushing under Akira's eye.

"Open your eyes, Akira-kun," Shirogane told him. He didn't want to, but they seemed to open on their own.

The shadow's silver hair was undone from its braid. It flowed freely, some spilling over the man's shoulder. The sunlight broke through the branches of the tree, scattering spots of lights over the man. His shadow form's translucency allowed the light to fall right through, but Akira could still see the way it made his pale flesh glow. His eyes were as soft as ever. They peered down on the teenager with so much sincerity, the boy was tempted to push him away. If he felt like a girl before, how he felt now was pure femininity. He couldn't help but focus on the way the petals from the tree made the man's mouth even pinker than before.

"Akira," the shadow called him. The fingers skimmed down the boy's face, taking a place along his jawline. Shirogane allowed his head to sway slightly, like he was ready to-

"Kiss," Akira whispered into the air.

Shirogane blinked, replacing his heartfelt eyes with surprise. Of course he'd never expect that word to leave Akira's mouth.

Before he could say anything, Akira let his control slip away. He was tired of this conflict. It was a five month battle he was never going to win. The teenager clenched his hands into the shadow's hair, pulling him down into his space. Shirogane seemed genuinely shocked, but the moment he touched the brunet's mouth, it was instantaneously dropkicked.

Shirogane's lips felt like cherry blossom petals, idling on his mouth. Too soft to be real, is what Akira thought, but it was. The touch of Shirogane's hand on his skin was real, not visible to mortal eyes, but the feeling was just as real. For just a moment, the boy could swear he felt warmth from the shadow.

The shadow pulled away and gazed at the dazed teenager resting below him. Akira was sure his entire face resembled a strawberry. He felt a small smile grow on his face though when he remembered strawberries were Shirogane's favorite fruit, so he shouldn't mind. As if he read Akira's mind, the shadow smiled with him and swooped back into for another series of feathery kisses.

Petal after petal rained over Akira. That's how he felt. That's how he wished he could feel all the time.

Don't leave yet, Shirogane. Don't leave...


	3. Sheer As Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in winter, Shirogane promised Akira that he wasn't leaving yet, but maybe... maybe his time was coming now.

Rain, rain, rain. Spring was bursting with drizzles and downpours, only ever stopping for a day or two before continuing. The rainy season was in full effect by June, but it did not matter much at the time. Forced to stay indoors for most of the time, Shirogane spent his time training his shadow-shin in both kokuchi and intimate matters. Akira grew more control of his shadow abilities and as a result during battles, stronger opponents were sent each time. They were defeated nonetheless with a slash of Akira's blades. Shirogane had never felt more proud of his little Akira-kun.

Returning to the 'intimacy' topic, they had reached a level of affection Shirogane had eagerly been waiting for for months: sex. Lo and behold, Akira was a full fledged virgin and a scared one on that. It was obvious that despite the machismo he held, the silver-haired man would be the one giving out the love. Being the receiver of said 'love,' it meant enduring a pain that Akira never thought he'd ever have to experience.

The shadow could understand his fear, but he managed to lure the young brunet boy into it. They exchanged gentle touches and kisses below the belt before, so surely Akira could withstand a wandering finger or two to prepare. The teenager was still apprehensive since he thought Shirogane was going in at one go. The shadow knew that would result in never having sex with Akira ever in the future. All that pain would be too much to handle.

He coaxed his younger lover into it and after a week of fooling around, they finally did the deed. Akira was in clear pain and didn't enjoy it at all, but it was expected from the first time. It was never pleasant. However, he still wrapped his arms around Shirogane and snuggled into his chest, mumbling sweet words that he'd never say in public to him. With one arm around his lover, Shirogane placed a kiss on his head and returned them. It was a perfect moment, but perfect moments don't last very long.

Unbeknownst to his young shin, Shirogane was fading. He had stayed on the Earth plane for a longer time than anticipated and his body was beginning to wear out. Although their trips to the shadow world helped maintain his form, he used up much of the needed energy fighting with Akira. During the night, he'd disappear back to the shadows and take in as much dark energy as he could. Shirogane was relying on five hour long trips for each month he stayed in the light. It wasn't enough though.

As Akira slept, the shadow could see his fingers wavering, darkness dissipating from its structure. Back in winter, he promised Akira that he wasn't leaving yet, but maybe... maybe his time was coming now.

By mid-July, the difficulties of keeping his form was becoming apparent. Once or twice during lovemaking, he found himself no longer inside of Akira, but in the mattress with Akira above him asking, "What the hell are you doing?" He tried to make an poorly executed joke about trying to literally screw him into the mattress and forgot to make him intangible too. This just ended the act rather fast and left Shirogane to finish up the job in private.

Kengo saw Shirogane was fading too when he tried to slap him on the back. His hand went through Shirogane and hit Aya instead since the shadow stood behind her. The shadow didn't watch the disgruntled girl chase after the blond though. He watched the puff of darkness swirl and vanish into thin air.

Master knew about the silver-haired man's dilemma far before Shirogane realized it. The bartender told him months ago that his longevity on this plane had a set time limit. For every day he spent on Earth, he needed a trip to the shadow plane to rejuvenate his energies, but he didn't listen. He went on days and days in this light realm all for Akira-kun. Because he wanted to be by his side.

Shirogane began evading Akira thanks to his dissolving body. He made up excuses why he didn't want to snuggle or hold hands, avoiding anything that meant extended periods of physical contact. He could see the hurt in Akira's eyes, even if he tried to play it off like nothing as usual. The brunet would 'hmph' and cross his arms, mumbling 'Whatever,' returning to whatever task he was doing previously. How he wished he could scoop him into his arms and praise the with thousands of kisses. Instead, distance was implemented and encouraged. He didn't want to worry Akira.

Nevertheless, he was discovered anyway. By the beginning of August, Akira was fed up with Shirogane disappearing act. Whenever he offered to do anything with the shadow, it was an instantaneous 'no.' No? What kind of lover would do that? Easy. A lover who was slipping away.

With a crack of the bedroom door, Shirogane was found by the window, watching his hands go up in dark mist. His fingertips were almost gone, beginning to reach his knuckles.

"Shirogane!" A cry from behind. The silver-haired man glanced behind him and saw the grief-stricken face of his young lover. Akira with wide eyes looked at the man's hands and up at him. "What's happening?"

The shadow remained silent, hoping the streaks of gray from his body would be explanation enough. He gave him a soft smile and turned back to the window, seeing the reflection of Akira step closer to him. Warm arms wrapped themselves around Shirogane's waist. "Where are you going?" A weak voice asked.

Home, Akira-kun. I can't stay here any longer, he answered in his head.

"You can't leave yet."

I have to or else I'll die.

Before Shirogane knew it, he was completely intangible. Akira fell forward through Shirogane towards the window. The boy grasped the windowsill and turned himself around to face the ghost of what the man was becoming. One tear. It was enough to make Shirogane want to die. He'd never seen Akira cry other than their first time and he vowed never to have it happen again. But right in front of him was a broken lover, staring at his first love drifting into absolute smoke.

The shadow king tried to reach for the brunet's face, only to find his hand falling through his cheek. How he wanted to wipe those tears. Regardless, Akira's hand reached for the evaporating hand, trying to hold it. It was almost futile. It was like trying to hold air steady.

Then, for one brief second, the smallest matter of time, it felt solid. One genuine grasp of hands. As soon as blue eyes met gray eyes in surprise, darkness overtook.

Shirogane opened his eyes to find himself dropping back into the shadow world, bypassing miniature dark creatures. He couldn't stop himself from falling though. With no dark energy left, he had to let himself spiral to the lowest depths of the darkness. There was a high chance that he could be killed by the creatures that kept themselves hidden from the rest of their world. He could be snatched up by the most gruesome monster that even shadows and shins could not imagine.

The shadow should have feared for his life, but it was not worth it. He shut his eyes and took a single breath with one thing on his mind:

Akira-kun, I love you.


End file.
